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I thought I’d share with you what someone had posted on my Yahoo answers page regarding her experience with online dating.

Carrie wrote:

A lot of people like to put down online dating but I always love to tell them my story

My fiance found me on Myspace, yep that’s right!
He typed “Redheads” in Upland (that’s the city we both live in) and pooof! I was the third girl on the list. He messaged me, I messaged back; we talked back and forth, talked on the phone, met in person and BAM! Four years later we are getting married and happier than ever!

I fully approve online dating, our society these days rely heavily on the internet for a lot of things, so it is natural we adjust to use it for finding our soul mates…

***

According to Harris Interactive research 2008, on average about 236 eHarmony users marry everyday. While the majority use dating websites as a means to date casually, there are still some people like Carrie who find themselves with a partner for life.

Expert by Experience,

Lady Loverly

Top 5 lies


It’s hard enough to truly get to know someone in person these days without struggling to overcome the barriers of a computer screen. Don’t be fooled. Here are some common lies online daters dish. While some may be as silly as lying about one’s height, ask yourself, can I trust this person?

1.) Age- posting of outdated pictures to appear younger than actual age

2.) Income- claims to make a higher salary

3.) Height/weight- adds or deducts a couple of inches/pounds

4.) Appearance- claiming to be the person in  photos that have been taken from other websites

5.)  Intentions- some claim to be looking for a long term connection when all they want is a one night stand

Awareness is power. Conquer the lies before you get fooled by the disguise.

Expert by Experience,

Lady Loverly


Olivia asks,

What approx is the percentage of the people who believe in this concept…….. ūüôā

Peskanov88:

According to Video Jug, within the year of 2008, there were as many as forty to fifty million people of all ages engaging in the act of online dating, with numbers steadily increasing. OKCupid alone racked up  a total of 1.51 million members in the present day.

Whether people are joining to put an end to their curiosity or to actually make a connection, it seems as though a good percentage of the public believe enough to make this modern form of dating, a phenomenon.

Expert by Experience,

Lady Loverly


Recently I attempted to reach out to online daters via Yahoo Answers, in hopes to provide some sort of closure to their most pressing questions.

Amy:

Well I’ve just started online dating as a way to build my confidence. If I’ve been talking to someone a bit but don’t really want to meet how can I get that out of the question and make it as painless as possible?

Peskanov88:

Amy, using an online dating site can certainly boost confidence but I don’t recommend that being the sole purpose as to why you are on there. The majority of people on these sites are looking to form some sort of connection, not to waste their time with someone who has no intention of doing so. With all due respect, this approach can be seen as leading someone on.For instance, a person is complimenting you and continues to chat because he/she is convinced that eventually, if all goes well, you two will meet up and potentially make online dating a thing of the past.

If it is a mere confidence booster you seek, go out and engage in activities you are most passionate about. Not only will you be doing something you love but you will meet new people who enjoy the same thing. A great website for this is meetup.com where you can find specialized group activities and volunteer work. If that doesn’t tickle your fancy, how about getting a new haircut or article of clothing? Working out releases feel good endorphins while complimenting others will help you to become well liked. Find out more information on these and other confidence boosters in the article entitled, “10 Ways to Instantly Build Self Confidence.”

Remember, confidence comes from within. Before seeking this energy elsewhere from an outside source, make sure you acknowledge it within yourself first.

Part two of Amy’s question…

Also any major signs that who I think I’m talking to isn’t really that person (I do Facebook add to see more photos, friends etc)?

Peskanov88:

Amy I would definitely recommend reading my post entitled, “Media Mingling.” Sadly there is a ¬†lot of dating in disguise out there, mainly because we ¬†rely heavily upon pictures and instant messaging as a means of connecting with an interest. If we’re living in such a technological age, then why not use some of these devices to our advantage? I recommend using Skype. The program is easy to download, it’s free and the webcam option makes it more difficult for impostors to disguise themselves. Also, try to stay ¬†away from giving out your Facebook so early on in the game, since it contains a lot of personal information.

Hope that helped Amy and anyone else who had similar concerns.

Expert by Experience,

Lady Loverly

Media mingling


Most dating sites host a chatting option where you and your interest can communicate via ¬†instant messaging. This is a great way to become “acquainted” with someone but it shouldn’t serve as your only option.

Eventually, if all runs smoothly, you’ll want to meet this person outside cyber-land. I advise the media options below, in making your mingling sessions a bit more personal prior to this leap.

These media outlets might even save you the trouble of  wasting your time with meeting up, since instant messaging can often be misleading, an easy way to hide our true selves behind the text.

Webcam

The first time I got on webcam, I’ll admit, I felt a bit awkward. Although hesitant, I took comfort knowing that I would be able to confirm, that the person whom I’ve been speaking with from the dating site is in fact who they say they are. Webcams allow for that unnecessary mystery aspect of online dating to be thrown out the window.

Webcams in general are pretty inexpensive and most laptops these days have them  already built-in.

Microphone

*self explanatory*

Although this media option doesn’t allow you to see the other person, you are able to hear their voice. Hearing someone’s voice allows your conversation to become more personalized and real. Don’t hide behind text, make your voice heard!

Skype

Skype provides both microphone and webcam options. Log onto their website and download the program! Chatting with others using Skype is 100% free and safe, you have nothing to lose.

Like everything else, how you mingle all depends on your own personal preference. In my opinion, profiles are a great way to seek out possible interests, but as I inquire to know someone on a deeper level, pictures and text aren’t enough. Such media alternatives listed above really allowed me to feel more comfortable, before taking that leap of meeting up in person. Have fun on your media mingle adventures!!

Expert by Experience,

Lady Loverly


As sad as it may seem, some stereotypes can be harsh… but are often pretty close to the truth.

Online dating has earned itself quite the reputation over the years but a closer look at some common negative labels can serve as insight for a positive experience.

DESPERATION


This word surpasses most four-letter cringe-ers by seven and it’s almost as bad as being told you have a bad case of body odor. I’m not going to lie and say that there aren’t any desperate Dans and Dianes out there on O.D. sites but I will tell you this–everyone has their reasons as to why they put themselves there in the first place.We all want to form some sort of connection. Whether that be a one night stand, making new friends, looking to go on many fun-filled dates or simply searching for “the one”… it’s all about the approach.

You’re not desperate until you make yourself come across that way.

THE LONELY LOSER


You’re afraid to be seen on such a site because someone may deem you as the “lonely loser.” Listen– just because you’re single, doesn’t mean you’re necessary lonely and it certainly doesn’t earn you the title of loser. You could be enjoying your life so much that nothing would make you happier than to share such jubilant¬†atmosphere with someone else….and then again you could just be lonely, but hey–who are they anyways to make such assumptions about you? and why do you even care? After all, chances are…if they saw your profile on the site, they probably have one of their own.

THE OLDER CROWD

Most people have this preconceived notion that dating sites are only for middle-aged adults or widowers.To have a such a mindset is a shame because a lot of younger people can use O.D. to their advantage.

For example, perhaps you don’ t favor the bar scene or have found that it doesn’t provide you with any potential connections…you can create an O.D. profile to fill this void. Young people are always moving, especially those on the jumpstart of their careers. O.D. sites provide that handy alternative to meeting new people within the same age group with similar interests.

These are just a few ¬†stereotypes to digest for the time being. Have others you’d like to share? Leave a comment below and keep the rest of the ¬†O.D. community updated.

Expert by Experience,

Lady Loverly

Profile persona


In the realm of online dating, a first impression relies heavily upon your profile.

Most dating sites would consider a solid profile to be the breakdown of the following…

*Uploaded Photograph of Yourself*

>PHYSICAL ATTRACTION<


This is a chance to flaunt your curb appeal! Post pictures that will accent your most prized features but keep it decent. Unless you crave a brief visit to the nearest motel, you won’t find anything of a deeper level giving it all away like that. I suggest for men and women alike to post three types of pictures, a face shot, a full body shot, and a photo depicting participation in a favorite pastime or hobby.


Pixelated pin-ups of potential mates will leave you with impressions of …cute, sexy, or “oh hell no!” ¬†Despite how shallow this outlook may seem, physical appearance sparks our curiosity and drives us to steer clear of all that is platonic.

Whichever way you go about posting pics, just remember to remain truthful. Don’t be an impostor, no one admires dishonesty.

In-Depth Answers to Personalized Questions:

>PERSONALITY<

This is the map to your inner self!

Questions are usually open-ended so that you can provide the answers that encompass your hobbies, desires, career plans, and so on. Answer the questions honestly and openly, failure to do so will only result in you limiting your options. You might stress, thinking that some of your traits will be viewed ¬†negatively by others but embrace it all! Chances are–someone out there also favors wearing strange animal slippers or might even find it to be insanely adorable.

When showcasing information about yourself remember to avoid mentioning former relationships. You are here to find someone else! Wash your hands of the past until the time is right to bring it up in future conversation. And please, please, please don’t give out your MOST private details, I’m talking about prized digits–credit cards, social security numbers, addresses, etc. When in doubt, think common sense!

Take your time and be truthful. Allow your profile to serve as an honest reflection of yourself. Do so and you are bound to attract the attention you seek.

Expert by Experience,

Lady Loverly