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Archive for September, 2010


Most dating sites host a chatting option where you and your interest can communicate via  instant messaging. This is a great way to become “acquainted” with someone but it shouldn’t serve as your only option.

Eventually, if all runs smoothly, you’ll want to meet this person outside cyber-land. I advise the media options below, in making your mingling sessions a bit more personal prior to this leap.

These media outlets might even save you the trouble of  wasting your time with meeting up, since instant messaging can often be misleading, an easy way to hide our true selves behind the text.

Webcam

The first time I got on webcam, I’ll admit, I felt a bit awkward. Although hesitant, I took comfort knowing that I would be able to confirm, that the person whom I’ve been speaking with from the dating site is in fact who they say they are. Webcams allow for that unnecessary mystery aspect of online dating to be thrown out the window.

Webcams in general are pretty inexpensive and most laptops these days have them  already built-in.

Microphone

*self explanatory*

Although this media option doesn’t allow you to see the other person, you are able to hear their voice. Hearing someone’s voice allows your conversation to become more personalized and real. Don’t hide behind text, make your voice heard!

Skype

Skype provides both microphone and webcam options. Log onto their website and download the program! Chatting with others using Skype is 100% free and safe, you have nothing to lose.

Like everything else, how you mingle all depends on your own personal preference. In my opinion, profiles are a great way to seek out possible interests, but as I inquire to know someone on a deeper level, pictures and text aren’t enough. Such media alternatives listed above really allowed me to feel more comfortable, before taking that leap of meeting up in person. Have fun on your media mingle adventures!!

Expert by Experience,

Lady Loverly

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As sad as it may seem, some stereotypes can be harsh… but are often pretty close to the truth.

Online dating has earned itself quite the reputation over the years but a closer look at some common negative labels can serve as insight for a positive experience.

DESPERATION


This word surpasses most four-letter cringe-ers by seven and it’s almost as bad as being told you have a bad case of body odor. I’m not going to lie and say that there aren’t any desperate Dans and Dianes out there on O.D. sites but I will tell you this–everyone has their reasons as to why they put themselves there in the first place.We all want to form some sort of connection. Whether that be a one night stand, making new friends, looking to go on many fun-filled dates or simply searching for “the one”… it’s all about the approach.

You’re not desperate until you make yourself come across that way.

THE LONELY LOSER


You’re afraid to be seen on such a site because someone may deem you as the “lonely loser.” Listen– just because you’re single, doesn’t mean you’re necessary lonely and it certainly doesn’t earn you the title of loser. You could be enjoying your life so much that nothing would make you happier than to share such jubilant atmosphere with someone else….and then again you could just be lonely, but hey–who are they anyways to make such assumptions about you? and why do you even care? After all, chances are…if they saw your profile on the site, they probably have one of their own.

THE OLDER CROWD

Most people have this preconceived notion that dating sites are only for middle-aged adults or widowers.To have a such a mindset is a shame because a lot of younger people can use O.D. to their advantage.

For example, perhaps you don’ t favor the bar scene or have found that it doesn’t provide you with any potential connections…you can create an O.D. profile to fill this void. Young people are always moving, especially those on the jumpstart of their careers. O.D. sites provide that handy alternative to meeting new people within the same age group with similar interests.

These are just a few  stereotypes to digest for the time being. Have others you’d like to share? Leave a comment below and keep the rest of the  O.D. community updated.

Expert by Experience,

Lady Loverly

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In the realm of online dating, a first impression relies heavily upon your profile.

Most dating sites would consider a solid profile to be the breakdown of the following…

*Uploaded Photograph of Yourself*

>PHYSICAL ATTRACTION<


This is a chance to flaunt your curb appeal! Post pictures that will accent your most prized features but keep it decent. Unless you crave a brief visit to the nearest motel, you won’t find anything of a deeper level giving it all away like that. I suggest for men and women alike to post three types of pictures, a face shot, a full body shot, and a photo depicting participation in a favorite pastime or hobby.


Pixelated pin-ups of potential mates will leave you with impressions of …cute, sexy, or “oh hell no!”  Despite how shallow this outlook may seem, physical appearance sparks our curiosity and drives us to steer clear of all that is platonic.

Whichever way you go about posting pics, just remember to remain truthful. Don’t be an impostor, no one admires dishonesty.

In-Depth Answers to Personalized Questions:

>PERSONALITY<

This is the map to your inner self!

Questions are usually open-ended so that you can provide the answers that encompass your hobbies, desires, career plans, and so on. Answer the questions honestly and openly, failure to do so will only result in you limiting your options. You might stress, thinking that some of your traits will be viewed  negatively by others but embrace it all! Chances are–someone out there also favors wearing strange animal slippers or might even find it to be insanely adorable.

When showcasing information about yourself remember to avoid mentioning former relationships. You are here to find someone else! Wash your hands of the past until the time is right to bring it up in future conversation. And please, please, please don’t give out your MOST private details, I’m talking about prized digits–credit cards, social security numbers, addresses, etc. When in doubt, think common sense!

Take your time and be truthful. Allow your profile to serve as an honest reflection of yourself. Do so and you are bound to attract the attention you seek.

Expert by Experience,

Lady Loverly


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You did what?


Why am I writing a blog about the world and ways of online dating?

Back in November of 2009, I decided to become a member of the modernized mingling sensation, as a means to get over my ex.  The beginnings of my adventure sparked mixed emotions from those around me….

-You’re  only 21, you are too young to be on a dating website. Take this time to focus more on your career

-There are so many weirdos on the internet. You could end up the victim of a murder scene.

-Who knows, you just might find something special. Your cousins both found their wives doing the same thing

-You’re at college, there are plenty of guys to date here on campus

-What if employers find out that you are on here?

Needless to say, my experiences with this somewhat taboo form of bonding, piqued the curiosity of those around me. Six single skeptics decided to take their shot at the same cyber adventure, three of them are currently content in healthy relationships, another dated around and found a new perspective from her experiences, while the other two are still searching and enjoy the anticipation that follows.

Me? I’ve found someone whom I consider to be very special and quite refreshing. Though, despite our great connection, we’ve been battling the challenges of proximity. Currently we keep in touch on a daily basis and try to see one  another whenever possible.

So here’s to the sharing of experiences and advice, I’ll be dishing it for free until I can find  a way to get paid for it! Come along for the journey…the heartbroken, the curious, even the skeptics, you’re all welcome.

Expert by Experience,

Lady Loverly

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